An interview with George Parker

Legendary ad blogger and vintage Mad Man George Parker was kind enough to put down his glass for a few minutes and answer
questions he accurately characterized as “complete bollocks”.

George has just written and self-published a new book about his 40 odd years in advertising.

Unencumbered by douchnozzle publishers and fucktard editors, this is George Parker at full gallop. You can smell the acrid smoke of unfiltered fags and feel the lunchtime buzz that results from that crucial third bottle of wine.

George has seen the best and the worst of the advertising business. You can learn a lot from George.

Buy his book. You can download it from amazon.com here. It’s only five dollars. Don’t be a clown.


QUESTIONS FOR GEORGE PARKER

I’m buying, what are you having?

Boddingtons.

Manchester City or Manchester United?

As a young man, I watched Georgie Best at Old Traford… So that’s a dumb fucking question.

Rangers or Celtic?

I don’t follow hockey in kilts.

Maggie Thatcher. Were the IRA right or what?

Yeah… But they missed. Anyway she’s even more gaga now. No, not the one that wears meat dresses.

I’m betting you’re actually secretly a fan of the royal family George. Are you? (And sincere apologies if I got that wrong!)

I once had a fifteen minute conversation with Prince Charles (true) He’s a very nice bloke. Lots of splendid ideas. Diana was a bitch who would fuck anything that moved… As long as it was rich.

You did the best Irish tourism campaign of all time. It’s still the perfect tone for Irish tourism. Can you tell me about this? You did it at de Garmo Advertising in New York I think.

Yes, it was at DeGarmo. The client was great. We would meet at 11.00 AM, discuss the ads (He loved everything, ‘cos he was a fucking prince) Then we would retire to an Irish Pub and get fucked up for the rest of the day. He was the second best client I ever worked for. The best is in my new book. So, if you want to know who it is, you’ll have to buy the fucking book.

You seem to have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. New York in the 60s, London in the 70s and LA in the 80s. Was this pure luck?

No, it was due to my superb talent, outstanding charm, a laser like brain, classical features, and unmitigated modesty.

Who was the best advertising person you ever worked with and why?

Bill Hamilton was the best Creative Director I ever worked for, which I did at Chiat, Ogilvy and JWT. We still get fucked up and smoke fags in the Jane Street Tavern when I’m in New York.

You’re clearly a driven man George. You have been a prolific blogger from day one. What keeps you going?

Greed… No, that was my little joke. You make no fucking money from blogging. However, what you do get is the satisfaction that comes from having a large audience – AdScam is one of the most read ad blogs out there – Who appreciates that unlike other ad blogs, AdScam is not merely a vehicle for displaying ad after boring fucking ad (most of which have never run) No, AdScam is my personal take on the increasingly awful state of the ad biz. Nearly all my readers agree on this. There are a few fucktard wankers who comment negatively. These are unquestionably douchenozzle BDA shills.

I would describe your new book as everything one might hope to hear over the course of one very long and entertaining and alcohol-sodden night with George Parker. Is that about right?

Dead right. It is also a true representation of what went on in New York in the sixties and London in the seventies. In other words tons of smoking, drinking, drugging and shagging. With a lot of great advertising being produced in the twenty minutes we had left over from the pursuit of all the above.

What’s your favorite ad and why?

Everyone will probably agree that the world’s most famous ad is Chiat’s 1984, Super Bowl spot, done by my good mate Steve Hayden, and I am a huge admirer of it… But, in my opinion, the best ad ever created was the Volkswagen “Snow Plow” TV spot done by DDB in the sixties. It’s perfect. I could tell you all about it, but then I would have to kill you. So, get your fetid arse over to YouTube and watch it for yourself.

What in the name of jaysus has you out in Boise Idaho? Is this your knack for being in the right place at the right time playing out again? And if so, is there something we should know?

I used to call it America’s best kept secret. Then the fucking Californians discovered it and started to move in. Now they’ve stopped and the Nazi population is on the upsurge again (That’s why Wednesday on AdScam is Hitler day) Unsurprisingly, Idaho makes one of the few remaining potato vodkas, which are quite different from all those wanky designer vodkas you pay big bucks for. We also have remarkably cheap drugs in Idaho, which is why I expect Kate Moss to join me here any day. Never forget, Friday on AdScam is Kate Moss day… Preferably naked.

You are truly a prince George. And I shall go out of my way to meet you in real life and buy you a real actual drink. I can drink. It will be fun. Cheers man! And thank you.

You’re welcome. Make sure everyone out there buys a copy of “Confessions of a Mad Man.” Never forget, I have the power to make people jump off tall buildings… So, buy the fucking book.

Cheers/George

9 responses to “An interview with George Parker

  1. Vinny…
    Did I say all that old tosh… I must have been sober at the time. Don’t forget… Today is “Hitler” day on AdScam. There are also amazing, never before seen, nude pictures of Kate in “Confessions of a Mad Man.” That’s actually bullshit, but hey, this is fucking advertising. By the time you buy the book, it’s too late. No refunds.
    Cheers/George

  2. Just a warning, Vinny… don’t try to keep up with George in a bar. Especially if you’re picking up the tab.

  3. instant classic.

  4. If you buy George strong lager while you drink shandies you may… may stand a chance.

  5. @Vinny…. Tea, fucking tea!
    @Rob… No lager… The Cream of Manchester for me… Although, it’s probably made in fucking China now.
    @Curvin… No advice, let these young fuckers learn by experience.
    @Ricki… You are obviously a fucking Prince.
    Cheers/George

  6. @George… Indeed, the youngsters can learn from personal experience. That is, by inviting you to lunch, making sure the bartender is paying attention to you and your glass as it empties, then picking up the tab when you’ve run out of tales and when you and they are completely sated. They won’t invite you to lunch, however, especially a lunch that’s long and liquid, because they’re lashed to the ergonomic chairs in their BDA cubicles, slaving away, hoping they’ll come up with truly good work, something that might get them a great job. Since a lunch with you probably isn’t in the cards, George, I recommend the same thing you do – that they read your latest book. It’s fun. It’s smart. And at $5, it’s a bargain.

    • i wouldn’t be so sure Curvin. depending on how i feel on the day, i can be a formidable drinking partner. it will be interesting!

  7. I can certify that Mr. Warren is a highly skilled practitioner of the liquid arts, and I suspect his appointment with Mr. Parker will be less a competition, and more a seminar on best practices. God help us all.

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