I have always felt like an outsider. And not in a bad way.

Even in my native Ireland as a youth I used to marvel at the antics of my fellow Irish people like they were ants in some sort of experiment.

Irish people are island people.

Foreigners can’t just drive to Ireland on a whim, like say the Dutch can into Germany, or Belgium, or Luxembourg. And vice-versa.

So islanders can easily and conveniently ignore the rest of the world. And develop quirks that nobody ever remarks on because we’re all the same. And we can’t imagine things being any different.

You develop your own peculiar worldview that nobody questions.

I remember countless times in Ireland growing up where I had to bite my lip to stop myself laughing at what my compatriots thought was perfectly normal behaviour.

I had the outsider perspective even in my homeland!

So when I left my native land, and I was 22 years old when I did, I was ready to be a bona fide outsider.

I had the funny accent and everything. And I was ready to be amazed at the antics of my new homeland.

It didn’t take long.

I had very recently arrived in the USA and went to a party in Queens New York.

At the party I saw something that blew my mind.

A guy picked up a can of Easy Cheese and squirted it right into his mouth.

I nearly died of shock!

What the hell was that guy doing???????????????

I honestly thought he was eating hair mousse or something.

And I kind of exclaimed something to that effect.

Everyone looked at me like I was crazy.

I looked at everyone like they were crazy.

They explained that it was in fact cheese he had squirted into his mouth.

This shocked me even more.

Why on earth would such a thing as squirtable cheese even exist? How was that a good idea?

That’s the outsider’s edge.

You know how and why THEY are crazy.

In a way that they can never know.

Because they are THEM.

And you’re not one of them.

And never really can be.

You’re an outsider.

I still think squirting cheese into your mouth is utter craziness btw.


  1. new client?

  2. yup, SquirtWars sound like fun.

  3. Squirt Wars sounds like a “website”, if you know what I mean.

    But seriously, I totally get what you’re saying here Vinny – even though I grew up in the North East I somehow avoided to pick up a strong Geordie accent, which set me apart from everyone else (ie: I was considered posh, which is hilarious) and then when I moved to London at 22 they all thought I was a proper Geordie, which is equally hilarious.

    Now I’m hanging around with Americans and it’s the same deal. I wouldn’t change it though. It makes life far more interesting, as you well know.

    • Guy, you’re a double outsider. Newcastle people pretty much speak a dialect of English don’t they. It’s more than an accent.

      You know what i mean. and it never gets old. America is a big place. there’s a lot to learn. I used to watch a lot of vintage American TV to catch up. it helped a lot.

  4. Coming from the land of some of the most delicious, real, aged, crafted cheese in the world, you had every reason to be amazed at the concept of squirt cheese. It’s still a bad idea. And dogs are fairly sure it’s not cheese. The snack food of WalMart people and stoned college students everywhere.

  5. Love this post! Cheese in a Can and Ritz Crackers. Was the perfect munchie food in college when I had the munchies 8)

    I am an outsider to Advertising/Marketing. From my Alien theme to the trouble I cause on Twitter and blogging. Always been a subversive whether being a punk, deadhead, raver, burner, etc best place to be!

    Oh and I grew up on an island too =P lol

    • yes howie. outsiders are subversive. we just don’t get it yet we get it more than anyone else.

      which island did you grow up on? Nantucket? Catalina?


      • Lawn Guyland! in MassPizza. I mean Massapequa Long Island.
        A form of bonding with LI ExPats is rattling off the Long Island Railroad stops on the Babylon Line just like the conductor does.

        But don’t we eventually become part of the mainstream Vinny? Even if we don’t like to think so?

    • Massepequa! or to give it its Indian name “By the mall”. ;-0

  6. Vinny,
    Not surprising that you settled for a while on Long Island.
    But for someone from Ireland, Chicago seems odd. Geographically, not psychologically.
    I observed more a difference between coastal people and inland people than island people and mainland people.
    A mother of a friend was from Kinsale and when she knew she was in her last few months of life asked her son to take her out to Montauk so she could look out at the ocean in her final days as she did as a young girl.
    Hard to fake that with Lake Michigan.

    • funny you should say that Tom. i really do miss seeing the ocean. and big though it is, Lake Michigan is no subsitute.

  7. A double-outsider? That sounds a lot like bi-winning, to me ;^D

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s