I am an experienced expert. Do not try this at home!


That’s me (Vinny Warren) rubbing the head of a mountain lion. It was early morning and i was on a Budweiser shoot in California and slightly hung over. Still a bit giggly from the previous night, i noticed that the animal wrangler on the shoot (the spot featured a dog) had brought along three mountain lions which he’d chained up in the back yard of the rather luxurious house we were shooting at in the mountains outside LA. To my still slightly inebriated eyes, they looked very cute and placid.

I assumed, incorrectly, that these mountain lions were the nice, cuddly and domesticated variety of mountain lion. You know, THE TYPE THAT DOESN’T EXIST! So i foolishly got on the ground next to them and cuddled with them, putting my arms around their necks and generally treating them like huge puddy tats! Only then did i suddenly notice how HUGE their paws and jaws were. And i became a bit concerned. So i asked the animal wrangler why he’d brought them. his response soon sobered me up. “Oh, i just bought them and i thought bringing them here would help them get used to being around people!”. In other words, I was the first human these man-eating felines had  contact with.  Ever!  The blood drained from my face as I slooooowly got up and walked out of paw’s reach.

I should note that this is only one of a series of photos i had taken that day. this was the smallest of the three mountain lions i cavorted with that day.   i will try and find the others.

4 responses to “I am an experienced expert. Do not try this at home!

  1. Man that lion is almost as big as Bart’s cat!

    (are you sure it isn’t Bart’s cat?)

  2. Yeah, that was the kitten of the three. the other two were fully grown. i swear! i’ll dig up the photo to prove it.

  3. it should also be noted that the real power of a mountain lion lies in its sheer muscularity. it is WAY stronger than any human. you have no chance. and the huge jaws and teeth and claws are only 10% of it. that kind of hit me when i wrapped my arm around their necks. i was expecting to feel something like a dog would feel like.

    it did not feel like a dog. it was rock hard! pure power.

  4. Pingback: Fearless Escape Podder tames ferocious mountain lion « ESCAPOLOGY (the escape pod’s blog)

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